Escape to Paradise: Princess Portal Hotel, Feira de Santana
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the Princess Portal Hotel in Feira de Santana. And let me tell you, after a week of pure, unadulterated… stuff… I'm ready to spill the beans. This isn't your sanitized travel blog; this is the real, messy, sometimes glorious, sometimes "did I really just do that?" experience.
First Impressions: The Portal Opens (or Doesn't Quite)
So, accessibility. Let's start there. Because, you know, gotta be inclusive, right? They say "Facilities for disabled guests." And the elevator? Check. But then, navigating the labyrinthine hallways… well, let's just say my wheelchair-bound friend, bless her heart, nearly ended up in the pool. So, accessibility… needs a little more work. Let's call it a "work in progress," yeah?
Rooms: Your Private Sanctuary… Mostly
My room? Okay, so, "Escape to Paradise," huh? It was… fine. Clean, thankfully. The air conditioning was a lifesaver because, Feira de Santana? Hot. Really hot. The bed? Extra long! Score! (Though, honestly, after the flight, even a concrete slab would have felt luxurious.) The blackout curtains? Essential for battling that Brazilian sun. And the complimentary tea? A nice touch. (Though I swear I only got a green tea bag twice. Maybe I was being too subtle with my requests.)
But then… the internet. Sigh. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms, they boast. And… it worked. Sometimes. Mostly when I was standing on one leg, chanting ancient Wi-Fi summoning rituals. The LAN? Forget about it. My laptop and I were basically having a silent, angry standoff.
The Spa: From Stress to "Oh, My God, I'm So Relaxed I Might Melt"
Okay, this is where the Princess Portal redeemed itself. Seriously. The spa. The spa! I booked a body scrub and a massage. And oh. My. Goodness. The masseuse… I don't even know her name, but she was a miracle worker. She kneaded out knots I didn't even know I had. The body wrap? Left me feeling like a pampered, fragrant burrito. The sauna, steamroom and the pool with view were heavenly. I spent a solid afternoon in the spa/sauna. I was practically drooling with happiness. Forget the hotel, I was living in a spa advertisement.
Food, Glorious Food (and Some Questionable Choices)
The restaurants. Oh, the restaurants. There's a lot on offer. A la carte, buffet, Western, Asian… I tried it all. The breakfast buffet was… well, it was a buffet. Lots of options. Some good, some… less good. The coffee? Let's just say I developed a deep, abiding appreciation for instant coffee after a few days. The Asian cuisine was surprisingly good. There's a lovely little coffee shop.
The poolside bar? Essential. Especially during happy hour. Those caipirinhas? Dangerous, delicious, and completely worth it. I may or may not have spent a whole afternoon there, chatting with the bartender about the local football team. (Apparently, I was very enthusiastic.)
Cleanliness and Safety: The Sanitized Zone (Mostly)
Okay, this is important. They take hygiene seriously. Anti-viral cleaning products, daily disinfection, hand sanitizer everywhere. They've got this whole COVID thing covered. Staff trained in safety protocol? Check. Rooms sanitized between stays? Check. I felt safe. I felt… clean. And in these times, that's a huge relief.
Things to Do (Besides Eating and Napping)
Feira de Santana itself… well, it's not exactly bursting with tourist attractions. But the hotel has a fitness center (I avoided it), a swimming pool (gorgeous), and a few things to do. Plenty of space for events of all types, including outdoor. The shrine was interesting. The gift shop? I bought a souvenir I now regret, but that's on me.
The Little Things (and the Slightly Annoying Ones)
- Services and conveniences: They offer a lot. Laundry, dry cleaning, safe deposit boxes, currency exchange. The staff were generally helpful, though sometimes a bit… slow. The elevator was slow. Everything was slow. But hey, you're on vacation, right?
- For the kids: They have babysitting. Which, if you have kids, is probably a godsend.
- Getting around: Free car park! Huge win. Taxi service available. The airport transfer was efficient.
The Verdict: Should You Escape to Paradise?
Look, the Princess Portal Hotel isn't perfect. It has its quirks. The Wi-Fi can be temperamental. The accessibility needs work. But the spa? The pool? The friendly staff? They make up for a lot. It's a solid choice. It's a place you can relax, recharge, and maybe, just maybe, forget about the real world for a little while.
My Quirky Anecdote
One evening, after a particularly glorious massage, I wandered back to my room and accidentally locked myself out. In my bathrobe. With no phone. At 10 pm. I had to wander the halls, looking like a slightly disheveled spa goddess, until I found a staff member. It was mortifying. But also… hilarious. And now, it's a story.
The Booking Pitch: My Honest Offer
Ready to Escape to Paradise (and Maybe Have a Few Laughs)?
Here's the deal:
- Book now for a minimum 3-night stay and get a free upgrade to a room with a balcony!
- Enjoy a complimentary welcome drink at the poolside bar (trust me, you'll need it after the flight).
- Get 15% off on all spa treatments (because you deserve it).
- Plus, early bird access to the best rates!
Don't worry about the minor imperfections. Embrace them! Think of it as a character-building experience. The Princess Portal Hotel in Feira de Santana is waiting for you. Book now and get ready to escape!
Escape to Paradise: Au Petit Verger, Chalabre's Hidden Gem
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into my disastrous (and hopefully delightful) trip to the Portal da Princesa Hotel in Feira De Santana, Brazil. This isn't your polished, Instagram-ready itinerary. This is the REAL DEAL, warts and all.
Day 1: Arrival and the "Welcome to Brazil, You're Probably Going to Sweat" Experience
- Morning (7:00 AM - 9:00 AM): Ugh, the red-eye from… well, let's just say a place far, far away. That pre-flight coffee? Never enough. The plane felt like a metal sardine can, and I swear, I was sandwiched between a snoring businessman and a toddler with a serious aversion to personal space. Arrived at the airport in Salvador. The air hit me like a warm, humid hug. Or maybe a wet towel. Either way, it was a shock. Finding transportation to Feira De Santana… let's just say my Portuguese is about as good as my samba dancing (nonexistent). Finally, after much gesturing and a near-miss with a rogue street vendor's cart, I found a taxi.
- Mid-morning (9:00 AM - 11:00 AM): The taxi ride. An adventure in itself. The driver, bless his heart, seemed to think the speed limit was a suggestion, not a rule. We weaved through traffic, narrowly avoiding collisions with scooters, stray dogs, and a particularly enthusiastic delivery truck. The scenery? Lush, vibrant, and a blur of green and color. Finally, we arrived at the Portal da Princesa. The hotel looked pretty good from the outside.
- Lunch (12:00 PM - 1:00 PM): Checked in. The lobby was bustling. The staff were friendly, though their English was limited. I pointed at the name on the booking confirmation with the grace of a newborn giraffe. Made it to the room. It was… fine. A little dated, but clean enough. But then I saw the view! A sprawling cityscape. A tiny pool. I felt a sudden surge of optimism. Lunch at the hotel restaurant. Ordered something. No idea what it was. It tasted good, though!
- Afternoon (1:00 PM - 4:00 PM): Pool time! Ah, bliss. Until I realized I forgot my sunscreen. (Face palm). Proceeded to turn a lovely shade of lobster. Learned the hard way that Brazilian sun is no joke. The pool was nice, though. Watched some kids splashing around. Made a mental note to buy sunscreen ASAP.
- Evening (4:00 PM - 8:00 PM): Attempted to explore the city. Got lost within five minutes. Wandered around, feeling utterly bewildered but also strangely exhilarated. Found a local market. The smells! The colors! The sheer chaos! Bought a weird fruit that tasted like a cross between a mango and a… well, something else. Definitely a "what was that?" moment. Dinner at a local "boteco" (small bar/restaurant). The food was fantastic, the atmosphere buzzing, and I think I might have accidentally ordered a whole plate of fried something or others. No regrets.
- Night (8:00 PM - 10:00 PM): Back at the hotel. Attempted (and failed) to learn some basic Portuguese phrases. "Obrigado" is apparently my new best friend. Bedtime. The air conditioning was a godsend. And I was exhausted.
Day 2: The "Trying to Be Cultured" Day and the "Lost in Translation" Incident
- Morning (8:00 AM - 10:00 AM): Woke up slightly sunburnt but alive. Breakfast at the hotel. The coffee was strong, the pastries were delicious. Made a mental note to learn the word for "more."
- Mid-morning (10:00 AM - 1:00 PM): Attempted to visit some historical sites. Found a church. Very beautiful. Tried to read the information plaques. My Portuguese still isn't great. Mostly just admired the architecture and tried to look like I knew what I was doing. Failed.
- Lunch (1:00 PM - 2:00 PM): Found a little cafe. The menu was entirely in Portuguese. Pointed at a picture of something that looked vaguely appealing. What arrived? A plate of… well, I still don't know. But it was delicious!
- Afternoon (2:00 PM - 5:00 PM): The "Lost in Translation" incident. Tried to order an Uber. The app glitched. Ended up having a frantic conversation with a local taxi driver who spoke about as much English as I spoke Portuguese. Eventually, through a combination of hand gestures, broken phrases, and sheer luck, I managed to get back to the hotel. It was a comedy of errors. I was half laughing, half wanting to bury my face in a pillow.
- Late Afternoon (5:00 PM - 7:00 PM): Decided to just relax. Read a book by the pool. Successfully avoided getting sunburnt. Small victory.
- Evening (7:00 PM - 9:00 PM): Dinner at a different "boteco." This time, I knew what I was ordering! (sort of). Ordered "Moqueca" - a traditional Brazilian seafood stew. Absolutely divine.
- Night (9:00 PM - 10:00 PM): Back at the hotel. Started writing this itinerary. Realized I'd probably forgotten half the things I did today. Oh well.
Day 3: The "Embracing the Chaos" Day and the "Unexpectedly Delicious" Discovery
- Morning (9:00 AM - 11:00 AM): Slept in! Needed it. Breakfast, finally remembered my sunscreen.
- Mid-morning (11:00 AM - 1:00 PM): Wandered aimlessly through the city. Gave up on trying to be "cultured" and just embraced the chaos. Found a local park. Watched people playing soccer. Listened to the music. Felt a sense of… peace? And I'm not usually a "peace" kind of person.
- Lunch (1:00 PM - 2:00 PM): Saw a little hole-in-the-wall place that looked slightly sketchy. Decided to be brave. Best decision ever. Ordered something I couldn't even pronounce. It was some kind of fried pastry filled with cheese and meat. Absolutely heaven.
- Afternoon (2:00 PM - 4:00 PM): Pool time! Sun, water, good vibes. Started chatting with some local kids. Awkwardly attempted to use some of the Portuguese I'd been trying to learn. They giggled. I giggled. We all had a good time.
- Late Afternoon (4:00 PM - 6:00 PM): Explored the hotel a bit more. The staff were still friendly. They seemed to find my attempts at Portuguese quite amusing. They were probably just being polite.
- Evening (6:00 PM - 8:00 PM): Dinner at the hotel. Tried to order something different. The waiter smiled, nodded, and brought me… well, I'm still not sure, but it was good! Maybe the best meal I had this trip.
- Night (8:00 PM - 10:00 PM): Packed (mostly). Made peace with the fact that I'd probably forgotten something. And that was okay.
Day 4: Departure and the "Already Planning My Return" Feeling
- Morning (7:00 AM - 9:00 AM): Breakfast. Said goodbye to the friendly staff. Checked out.
- Mid-morning (9:00 AM - 11:00 AM): The dreaded taxi ride back to the airport. This time, I held on for dear life.
- Departure (11:00 AM): The plane. The long flight home.
- Reflections: This trip wasn't perfect. I got lost, I made a fool of myself, and I probably ate something I shouldn't have. But it was also incredible. The people, the food, the culture, the sheer vibrancy of it all… it was intoxicating. I'm already planning my return. And this time, I'm going to learn more Portuguese. And maybe pack more sunscreen. And possibly learn how to dance the samba. Probably not. But definitely the sunscreen.
So there you have it. My messy, imperfect, and utterly unforgettable trip to the Portal da Princesa Hotel in Feira De Santana. Brazil, you were amazing. And I'll be back. Just you wait.
Hạ Long Bay DREAM Home: 5 BR, Pool, Gym! Kay Halong Homestay
Okay, spill the tea: Is "Escape to Paradise: Princess Portal Hotel" actually paradise, or just… a hotel?
Alright, buckle up, buttercup, because the truth about the Princess Portal Hotel… is complicated. "Paradise"? That's a *big* word. Let's just say it's more like a tropical daydream with a few reality checks thrown in. My expectations were sky-high, fueled by those Instagram pics… you know the ones. Perfectly manicured lawns, infinity pools shimmering like liquid diamonds, couples frolicking in the sunset… And then I arrived.
The lobby? Definitely had a princess vibe. Think slightly faded grandeur, a touch of "used to be amazing," but still… charming. The staff? Bless their hearts, they were trying! Some spoke better English than others (my Portuguese is… nonexistent, let's be honest), but they were all genuinely friendly. So, paradise? Not exactly. A solid, interesting hotel with a few quirks? Absolutely. And the quirks, my friends, are where the fun begins.
Tell me about the rooms! Are they actually fit for royalty?
Okay, the rooms. This is where the "Princess Portal" part starts to get a little… loose. I'd booked a "Royal Suite" (because, obviously), and let me tell you, my expectations were soaring. Giant bed, jacuzzi tub, ocean view… the works. And it *mostly* delivered. The bed *was* huge, which was a definite win. The jacuzzi? Worked, but the jets sounded like a dying vacuum cleaner. And the ocean view… well, it was *there*. Past a slightly overgrown palm tree and a roof.
My biggest issue? The AC. It was either on full blast, freezing me to the core, or off, making me feel like I was slowly melting. There was no in-between! I ended up sleeping with three blankets and the window cracked, battling mosquitoes and the distant sound of… something. I never figured out what it was, but it went on all night. Probably a generator. Or maybe a very enthusiastic frog. Look, I was tired.
One more thing about the rooms: the bathroom. Spotlessly clean, but the water pressure was… weak. Like, "gentle rain shower" weak. Which, after a long day of exploring, isn't quite what you want. But hey, at least the towels were fluffy!
What about the food? Did it live up to the "Escape to Paradise" hype?
The food… ah, the food. This is where things get *really* interesting. Breakfast was included, which was a lifesaver. Lots of fresh fruit, pastries (some good, some… less so), and the usual scrambled eggs and bacon. The coffee, though? Strong. *Very* strong. I think I could have powered a small city on that stuff.
Lunch and dinner were… a bit of a gamble. The hotel restaurant had a limited menu, and the quality was, shall we say, inconsistent. One night I had a delicious grilled fish, perfectly cooked. The next night? A mystery meat dish that I'm pretty sure originated in the freezer section of a supermarket. I'm not kidding. The service was slow, too. Like, "consider bringing a book" slow.
Here's a tip: Explore the local restaurants! There are some amazing places a short taxi ride away. Trust me, you'll thank me later. The hotel food? Meh. The local food? Heavenly. Especially the pão de queijo! Oh, sweet cheese bread, how I miss you.
The Pool! Was it Instagram-worthy?
The pool… Okay, this is the one thing that genuinely *was* Instagram-worthy. It was gorgeous. Big, sparkling, and surrounded by lush greenery. I spent a lot of time there. A LOT. Floating on my back, staring at the sky, pretending I was in a movie.
But… and there's always a but, isn't there? The pool bar was a bit of a letdown. The cocktails were… well, let's just say they weren't made by a master mixologist. And the service was, again, slow. I once waited 45 minutes for a mojito. 45 minutes! I could have flown to Cuba and made my own in that time! But, hey, the view was amazing, the water was refreshing, and I got a tan. So, overall, a win.
What's the vibe like? Is it romantic? Family-friendly? Party central?
The vibe at the Princess Portal Hotel is… relaxed. Very relaxed. Think chill beach vacation, not spring break. There were couples, families, and a few solo travelers like myself. It wasn't a party hotel, thank goodness. No thumping music until 3 am. No rowdy crowds. Just… peace. (Mostly.)
It’s definitely romantic-adjacent. The setting is beautiful, and the sunsets are stunning. I saw a couple get engaged by the pool! (Cue the collective "awww".) However, the slightly run-down nature of things might not be the *most* romantic backdrop. But hey, if you're looking for a low-key getaway, this is a good choice. Just don't expect the Ritz. Or, you know, actual royalty.
Okay, so would you go back? Be honest!
Hmm… would I go back? That's the million-dollar question, isn't it? Honestly? Maybe. If I was looking for a cheap, cheerful, and mostly relaxing vacation, then yeah, I'd consider it. I mean, the staff were lovely, the pool was gorgeous, and the location was convenient for exploring the area. And let's be real, the quirks added to the charm.
But… I'd lower my expectations significantly. I wouldn't book a "Royal Suite" again. I'd definitely explore the local restaurants. And I'd bring a good book (and maybe a spare air conditioner, just in case). So, yeah, maybe. But with a healthy dose of reality and a willingness to embrace the imperfections. Because, after all, isn't that what makes life interesting? And maybe, just maybe, that's what makes a vacation truly memorable.
Any major downsides I should know about? Like, REALLY bad stuff?
Okay, here's the lowdown on the potential deal-breakers. First, the noise. As mentioned,Book Hotels Now
