
Escape to Paradise: Gemini Apart Ulcinj, Montenegro Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Gemini Apart Ulcinj - A Review That's Actually Real (and Slightly Chaotic)
Okay, alright, buckle up buttercups. This isn’t your average, polished hotel review. This is me, fresh back from Gemini Apart in Ulcinj, Montenegro, and I’m still unpacking both my suitcase and my feelings. Let's get this messy, beautiful, and totally honest review rolling, shall we?
First Impressions & That Whole "Accessibility" Thing (Because It Matters!)
So, Gemini Apart… right off the bat, the idea is dreamy: "Escape to Paradise!" Ulcinj itself is gorgeous, all turquoise water and ancient history. And Gemini Apart? Well, it mostly delivers.
- Accessibility: This is where things get a bit… Montenegrin. The website says "Facilities for disabled guests" but I didn't see a ton of explicit detail. There is an elevator, which is a huge plus. The overall layout seems manageable, but I'd recommend contacting them directly to confirm specific needs. Important Note: The area around Ulcinj has some steep hills, just FYI.
- Getting Around: Free car park on-site is a godsend because parking in Ulcinj can be a nightmare. Airport transfer? Yes, and worth it after a long flight. They also offer taxi service.
Rooms: My Little Fortress of Serenity (Mostly)
My room? Pretty darn good. Let’s be real, it's not perfect, but let's get to the good stuff first.
- Available in All Rooms: Air conditioning (thank GOD!), Wi-Fi (thank GOD x2!), a mini-bar (essential!), a coffee/tea maker (double essential!), and a safe (because, you know, paranoia is a thing).
- The Good Stuff: The bed was comfy, the blackout curtains were a lifesaver (hello, late-night sun!), and the shower pressure was amazing. The little balcony with the view? Pure bliss, especially with a morning coffee.
- The Minor Annoyances: The internet, while free, occasionally decided to take a nap. Also, I'm picky, but the carpet… let's just say it's seen some action.
- Added Benefits: There's a refrigerator for your late-night snacks (crucial), a desk for those times you have to pretend to work (or, like me, just check Instagram), and the daily housekeeping was efficient.
The Spa, the Pool, and the Quest for Relaxation (Spoiler: I Found It!)
Okay, this is where Gemini Apart really shines. I mean, "Escape to Paradise" isn't just a slogan, it's a promise.
- Pool with a View: The outdoor swimming pool? Stunning. Seriously, the view overlooking the Adriatic is breathtaking. I spent hours just floating, staring at the horizon, and pretending I had no responsibilities. (It worked, mostly.)
- Spa/Sauna: The spa experience was divine. I got a massage, and I’m pretty sure my shoulders unknotted themselves. There's also a sauna, a steam room, and a foot bath. Basically, they have all the tools for a full-on relaxation retreat. I felt like a limp noodle, in the best possible way, afterward.
- Fitness Center: Yeah, I saw the fitness center. Didn't go. Priorities, people. Priorities.
- Other Ways to Relax: Body scrubs and body wraps are available. I didn't try them, but the vibe suggested they’re legit.
Food, Glorious Food (and the Occasional Hiccup)
Montenegrin cuisine is fantastic, and Gemini Apart offers a decent selection.
- Restaurants & Dining: There are several restaurants on-site. The buffet breakfast? Standard, but with enough variety to keep you happy. The a la carte restaurant was also pretty good. I had a memorable dinner, and the views from the terrace were amazing.
- The Good: The coffee shop was a lifesaver, and the poolside bar was perfectly positioned for cocktails. The international cuisine was tasty, and they have vegetarian options.
- The Not-So-Good: The service at the buffet could be a little slow at times. And, let's be honest, sometimes the coffee wasn't quite up to par. But hey, it's a small price to pay for paradise, right?
- Other Options: Room service is available 24/7, and they offer breakfast in the room (score!). There's also a snack bar for those late-night cravings.
Cleanliness, Safety, and That Whole COVID Thing
Look, it's 2024, and we all care about this stuff. Gemini Apart seems to take it seriously.
- Safety Measures: They have hand sanitizer everywhere, staff wear masks, and there’s daily disinfection in common areas. The rooms are sanitized between stays, and you can opt-out of room sanitization if you prefer.
- Other Safety Features: There's CCTV in common areas and outside the property, plus 24-hour security.
Things to Do (Besides Lounging by the Pool)
Ulcinj itself is packed with stuff to do! Gemini Apart is a great base for exploring.
- Beyond the Hotel: Explore the Old Town (it’s gorgeous!), visit the Velika Plaza beach (it’s HUGE!), and check out Ada Bojana (a nudist beach, if you’re feeling adventurous!).
- Services and Conveniences: They have a concierge, currency exchange, a gift shop (for souvenirs!), and laundry service. There’s even a convenience store.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Extras
- Business Facilities: If you must work, there are business facilities, including meeting rooms and internet access. They also have a projector/LED display if you want to give a presentation.
- Other Perks: Luggage storage, dry cleaning, and a safe deposit box are available.
For the Kids (and Those Who Are Kid-Adjacent)
- Family-Friendly: Gemini Apart is family-friendly, with kids facilities and babysitting services.
The "I Wish They Had" Section
- More local information: A little more information about local tours, restaurants, and attractions would be great.
- More detailed info on accessibility: As mentioned before, I'd love to see them really highlight their accessibility features.
The Verdict: Is Gemini Apart Ulcinj Paradise?
Look, it's not perfect. But is it a fantastic place to escape? Absolutely. The stunning location, the relaxing spa, and the generally good vibes make it a winner.
Here's the Deal: A Compelling Offer for YOU!
Tired of the same old vacation routine? Craving a break from the ordinary? Then listen up!
Escape to Paradise: Gemini Apart Ulcinj, Montenegro Awaits!
Book your stay now and experience:
- Unforgettable Relaxation: Imagine yourself lounging by the pool with a cocktail in hand, the turquoise waters of the Adriatic shimmering before you.
- Rejuvenating Spa Treatments: Melt away your stress with a massage, sauna session, or body wrap. You deserve it!
- Delicious Dining: Indulge in the flavors of Montenegro with delicious meals.
- Adventure Awaits: Explore the historic Old Town, relax on the amazing beaches, and soak up the local culture.
- Peace of Mind: We prioritize your safety with enhanced hygiene measures and dedicated staff trained in safety protocols.
But wait, there's more!
Book directly through our website and receive a complimentary bottle of local wine upon arrival!
Don't wait! Paradise is calling. Click here to book your escape to Gemini Apart Ulcinj today!
(Link to Gemini Apart's Website)
P.S. Seriously, go. You won't regret it. Just pack your sunscreen and a healthy dose of "I'm on vacation" attitude. You deserve it. And tell them I sent you. 😉
IHG Olathe Escape: Holiday Inn Express Suites - Unbeatable KS Deals!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's meticulously planned itinerary. This is my attempt at Ulcinj, Montenegro, and let's just say, I'm going in blind (mostly). Gemini Apart, here we come. God help us all.
ULCINJ: A MESSY LOVE LETTER (Maybe)
Day 1: Arrival & Existential Dread (aka, Finding the Apartment)
- Morning (8:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Uh, the airport. Podgorica. Beautiful, I'm sure, but all I see is a blur of jet lag and the desperate need for coffee. The drive to Ulcinj… well, let's just say the Montenegrin roads are adventurous. My rental car is already giving me side-eye. I'm pretty sure I'm going to die.
- Mid-day (12:00 PM - 2:00 PM): Finding the Gemini Apart. "Easy to find!" the booking website said. HA. Famous last words. Turns out, "easy" in Montenegrin translates to "potentially involving a goat, a grumpy local, and a strong dose of prayer." I finally found it. And it's… well, it's an apartment. It has walls. And a bed. Success! (I think.)
- Afternoon (2:00 PM - 5:00 PM): Unpacking. Contemplating my life choices. Admiring the view (which, thankfully, is actually pretty spectacular). The balcony is calling my name. I'm pretty sure I could spend the rest of my life on this balcony. Maybe I should.
- Evening (5:00 PM - 8:00 PM): Exploring the Old Town (Stari Grad). Okay, this is what I came for. Cobblestone streets, crumbling walls, the smell of the sea… it's magical. I get lost immediately, which is perfect. I stumble upon a tiny restaurant and order whatever the waiter recommends. It's probably the best meal I've had in months. I'm in love. (With the food, at least.)
- Night (8:00 PM - late): Wine. More wine. Stargazing from the balcony. Maybe a little existentialism thrown in for good measure. This is the life. (Until the mosquitos attack.)
Day 2: Beach Bumming & Batty Adventures
- Morning (9:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Velika Plaža (Long Beach). Sunscreen. Towel. Book. Repeat. This beach is HUGE. I'm pretty sure I could walk for a week and still not reach the end. The water is crystal clear, the sand is soft, and the only sounds are the waves and my own internal monologue. Life is good. Except for the jellyfish. (I swear I saw one. It was HUGE.)
- Mid-day (12:00 PM - 2:00 PM): Lunch at a beachside restaurant. Grilled fish. More wine. Watching the windsurfers. I'm seriously considering taking up windsurfing. Until I remember I can barely walk on land without tripping.
- Afternoon (2:00 PM - 5:00 PM): Okay, so I thought I'd be all adventurous and rent a bike and cycle along the beach. That lasted approximately 10 minutes. The wind was a beast. I nearly ended up in the Adriatic. I'm back on the balcony.
- Evening (5:00 PM - 8:00 PM): Dinner. This time, I'm trying a different restaurant. It's… interesting. The waiter seems to be auditioning for a role in a slapstick comedy. The food is… edible. The experience is… memorable.
- Night (8:00 PM - late): Trying to find live music in the Old Town. Failing. Wandering aimlessly. Buying a gelato. Eating gelato. Feeling content. Wondering if I should have brought a travel companion. (Probably not, I'm a disaster on my own.)
Day 3: The Ulcinj Salt Pans & a Dive Into the Past (and Maybe the Sea)
- Morning (9:00 AM - 12:00 PM): The Ulcinj Salt Pans. Apparently, it's a birdwatcher's paradise. I'm not a birdwatcher. But the scenery is breathtaking. The salt flats shimmer in the sun, the air is filled with the smell of the sea, and I actually saw a flamingo. A REAL flamingo. I think I'm hallucinating.
- Mid-day (12:00 PM - 2:00 PM): Lunch at a tiny konoba (traditional restaurant) near the salt pans. Fresh seafood, local wine, and the company of a very friendly stray cat. This is what life is about, right? Simple pleasures.
- Afternoon (2:00 PM - 5:00 PM): Okay, I'm diving deep into history today. I'm going to visit the ruins of the Pirate's City. I'm expecting swashbuckling adventures, buried treasure, and maybe a glimpse of Johnny Depp. Wish me luck. (I'm probably going to get lost.)
- Evening (5:00 PM - 8:00 PM): Re-visit Old Town, but this time, I'm determined to find that perfect little restaurant. More wandering. More gelato. More wine. The cycle continues.
- Night (8:00 PM - late): Back on the balcony. Another star-gazing session. I'm beginning to think I could actually get used to this whole "being alone" thing. Maybe. Or maybe I'm just delirious from all the sun and wine.
Day 4: (The Big Day!) Windsurfing & a Deep Dive into Being a Total Clutz
- Morning (9:00 AM - 12:00 PM): I did it. I signed up for a windsurfing lesson. I have no idea why. I'm going to fall. A lot. I'm going to look ridiculous. But I'm doing it. Wish me luck. (I'm going to need it.)
- Mid-day (12:00 PM - 2:00 PM): The Windsurfing lesson: This was an epic failure. I spent more time in the water than on the board. I swallowed half the Adriatic. I have bruises in places I didn't know existed. But, you know what? I laughed. A lot. And the instructor, bless his heart, didn't laugh at me too much.
- Afternoon (2:00 PM - 5:00 PM): Recovering from the Windsurfing disaster. Sunbathing. Eating ice cream. Contemplating my life choices. Feeling the burn. Literally and figuratively.
- Evening (5:00 PM - 8:00 PM): Dinner at a restaurant with a view. Seafood, naturally. Local wine, obviously. Watching the sunset. It's breathtaking. I almost cry.
- Night (8:00 PM - late): Packing (or attempting to). Reminiscing about the trip. Feeling a pang of sadness that it's almost over. Already planning my return. This place… it's got me.
Day 5: Departure & the Longing for More.
- Morning (8:00 AM - 10:00 AM): One last breakfast on the balcony. Saying goodbye to the view. Filling out a review for Gemini Apart.
- Mid-day (10:00 AM - 12:00 PM): The drive to the airport. Saying goodbye to Ulcinj. Feeling the familiar pang of sadness.
- Afternoon (12:00 PM - onward): The flight home. Processing everything. Planning my next visit. Ulcinj, you beautiful, messy, hilarious place. You've stolen my heart. And probably given me a sunburn. See you soon!
Notes:
- This is a very flexible itinerary. Don't expect it to go exactly to plan. Embrace the chaos.
- Learn a few basic Montenegrin phrases. It'll make your life easier (and the locals will appreciate it).
- Eat all the seafood. Drink all the wine. Enjoy every moment.
- Be prepared to get lost. It's part of the adventure.
- Most importantly: Relax. This isn't a race. It's a vacation.
This is just a starting point. Go with the flow, be open to new experiences, and most importantly, have fun!
Escape to Paradise: Your Croatian Dream Villa Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: Gemini Apart Ulcinj - Seriously, What's the Deal? (A Messy FAQ)
Okay, so... Ulcinj? Montenegro? Never heard of it. Is this place, like, actually paradise? (And should *I* go?)
Gemini Apart? Is it a hotel? A hostel? What even *is* it? And is it… good?
The Beaches! Tell me about the beaches! Are they crowded? Are they… sandy? (Please say they're sandy.)
Food! What about the food? Is it all grilled fish? (Because I'm not complaining if it is.)
Is there anything to *do* besides lie on the beach and eat? (And if not, I'm still in.)
What's the nightlife like? Is it, like, crazy party central? (Because I'm also okay with that, sometimes.)

